So.. I Tried Tinder For A Week.. (+ Online Dating)

February 18, 2016

The post we've all been waiting for..

PJ Top: Ardene | Coffee Mug: Winners | Phone Case: Belkin

Okay, maybe it was a little longer than a week..

I've never really taken to Tinder. I always thought it was more of a site for hookups and people who have weird sexual fetishes (don't ask) so it took me a really long time to get to it. Prior, I was accustomed to sites/apps like PlentyOfFish & OKCupid, as they seemed like more 'I'm looking for a relationship' type sites.. (and boy, was I wrong.)

Before we get started, I'll explain the basis of Tinder. (You can skip this if you already know)
This app is the selfie olympics. When I joined they made you connect it to your facebook (Ughhh, I know. However, there is purpose for this.) They let you pick 6 pictures from your facebook (however, the new update allows you to upload photos from your camera roll) and you can insert a little bio about yourself (which of course no one really does, but I did because I feel the need to over-explain, but I'll get into that later.) You can also connect your instagram and it'll show them a few photos from it at the bottom of your page, yadda yadda. You can also go in to setting up your preferences (Age, Distance, Sex.) Anyway, when the whole set up part is done, it tells you it's searching for people "nearby," (Yes, this changes with where you are) and up will come a 'deck of selfies' which shows you their first picture, their age, (possibly where they work/school depending on whether that information is on their facebook), how many friends and interests (facebook pages) you have in common. That's it. You can click their picture to see the rest of their pictures, their bio (if they even have one), etc. You will then decide on whether you want to swipe right (like), swipe left (dislike), or swipe up (super like). Swiping left or right will not tell the person unless you both swiped right and you are a match. But that's where super liking comes in. A super-like tells the person that you liked them regardless of if they've seen you yet or swiped left or right on you. Yeah..

Tinder wasn't actually as bad as I thought. I liked it mostly because only the people you want to message you (matches) can message you, I love that shit. Most people on the app are regular (or I went to high school with them..) and (from what I've seen) don't have any odd sexual fetishes they insist on their potential match performing- Wait, no. That's a lie- There was a quite a bit of that, but I swiped left so quick. To be completely honest, I spend a lot of time swiping left. I used the app for about two days before I finally swiped right on someone (I'll get into that later.) - I like to read people's bios (again, if they have one) There were a lot of people I recognized from other apps and it was a little weird. There were a few friends I would super-like just for laughs, nothing major. As for appearance, there is a wide-range of people in this world. I think when it comes to online dating, you become truly aware of how many types of people there are in your area. Really aware.

There were a few guys that I talked to that came on extremely strong- or some that didn't come on strong enough.. (I'll get into that later..) and a few that I ended up swiping right on because I naively was like, "You like ____? I like _____! We should be friends!" and they would go on some shit like, "Your profile makes any man think of marriage" or they try'na date you and I would hit 'em with the:

(Oh, did I mention you can also send gifs?)

 or they'd ask if you'd like to have a "quickie" even though you mentioned you weren't here for all that hook up shit.

But anyway. Here are my top 10 comments that sums up my Tinder experience.

Let's start with the questions.

First of all, why can't I filter out by race? I'm so sorry.. that sounded rude- but let's be honest. I have a thing for black and brown guys. It's nothing against men of other races, but I just have aesthetic needs that are pleased by black and brown men. I am swiping left for miles before I find a single coloured man. Like, a girl just wants a lil caramel + chocolate in her life, you know?

Second. Why do you ask me if I want to 'tell my friends' after I match with people? NO. NO ONE WANTS TO SHARE THAT INFORMATION.

Third. I was told something about not being shown your own facebook friends. So why are all my facebook friends and they mama showin' up in my little 'deck of selfies???' Hmm? HMM????????

And for everything else..

When you see a fine ass man...

But you were swiping left too fast and you accidentally swipe left on him too..

When you see a fine ass man..

But he's the not-so-fine man beside the fine ass man..

(but Im'ma still swipe left tho and ask 'who ya friend' because I'm petty)

When you accidentally super like someone... and they not cute... (I am the queen of this)

And they like you back and message you...

When you see that nigga you used to talk to and it got you feelin' some type of way...

When you see a guy with pictures with his girlfriend/wife (YES. WIFE!)

When you're talking to dude that you like

And you tell your sister/friend (who is also on Tinder) about him... and she is also talking to him...

That guy who has to profess that he likes black/darkskin girls...

That guy who (even though you said in your bio that you don't do hookups) still asks you if you wanna hookup

And when you kindly decline, tries to convince you...

The fine ass guy that you just wanna invite into your bedroom

But he boring as hell..

The guy who insists on telling you what he wants to do to you within minutes of speaking

Now Tinder isn't all bad. There are some good-looking dudes on there. (LORD ARE THERE SOME GOOD LOOKIN DUDES) and there are some nice dudes that I liked talking to. I actually gave out my number a couple times which is rare for me because I don't give out my number. I have to really like you/see some type of potential (whether platonic or romantic) to give out my number. However, if you're as picky as I am, (I LIKE BROWN AND BLACK GUYS GET OVER IT) - it can be really time-consuming. Like I said before, I was swiping left for miles. Now, I don't (always) swipe left just because a guy isn't black or brown, I usually will go and read people's bios.. but remember when I said, "if they have one?" because everyone's bio is literally non-existent or it says "not actually 25" WELL HOW OLD ARE YOU THEN?! My age range usually ranges from 20-28. "Aren't you 18?!" Yes.. call everyone and they mama. I don't date people my age. I never have. It just doesn't work. Not that a 35 year old would be ideal, and not that I wouldn't date a 19 year old. It's just that I never had the interest in doing so for maturity reasons. But that's not the point.

Like I was saying, I heard a lot of people complaining about how Tinder is "superficial" and how you're judging people solely "based on appearance." Personally, I don't feel that way because all dating sites have the potential to be that way. Sure, you can message everyone but sometimes they won't reply because they could judge you based on your appearance and not necessarily like the way you look. However, like other dating sites, there is a bio- which personally, I like to use as an area to make up for my face and try to 'woo' you one last time.. and some people just choose not to use it. Of course, not everyone reads bios and just swipes left and right based on your picture but a surprising amount of people read bios and if you choose to not use that opportunity to showcase your "nice-guy" personality- that's your own fault, don't blame the app for that. A lot of the time, I would swipe right on a guy that was cute with no bio (or a pathetic excuse for one) and they were boring as hell. But I also feel the need to over-explain and will tell you everything you need to know about me in 200 characters or less or no less that a 27-page essay in APA format with cited references, diagrams and a powerpoint presentation... there's no in between. 

So, to conclude this blog post: did I have any luck on Tinder? Yes and no. Friends? Hell yeah. People that I would solely like to invite into my bedroom? (But won't do that, because I don't do that.) Yes. Potential partners? Meh, we'll see.. but most likely not. But that could easily be due to a few months of emotional BS. But that's a different blog post. ;)

ps. if i met you on tinder.. don't get offended by this post. or do. idk.

gifs: | photo: s. chi photography | makeup: harry smith, mua

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